Flashing Back

I remember in 1975 when Jaws II came out that they used the phrase, "Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water..." Well...that is how it is for me in my life. Just when I thought that I felt safe and secure in life, something happens that flashes me back in time that knocks the walls of security down all around me. The problem is that it could be a picture, a word/phrase, a song, a fragrance, or even a touch.

During January and into February, I was trying to recover from a series of flashbacks. I really did not go to anyone about it, but just tried to use my own reflections on conversations that I had with a counselor and went back on my Zoloft to help to get me through the rough time. It worked, but it took some time. Some of you who do podcasting realized that I did not comment much during that time and it was because I was putting myself in a "coccoon" during that time just to protect myself.

This evening, I was visiting a podcast's blog and spotted a picture that brought back memories of a bad incident that happened to me. I know that I can't go back to that website for a while because I cannot face that fear until I get stronger. Call me a "weanie" or a "wuss"...however I know how much I can handle. There may be a time when I am stronger and can handle things better, but now I am weak. I am extremely stressed out at work, tired, and running with little sleep. I am not in a position to deal with this head on.

What does this mean? It means that I am being honest with you, my readers, about what is going on with me. If I don't write comments in your blog for a while, please understand that it is nothing against you, but it is just me trying to surround myself for a while. I'll be fine. Just keep on looking in here and I promise to keep you informed as to how I am doing. I appreciate you taking the time to read this and understanding...or at least trying to understand what I am going through.

Your Nashville Friend,

Thom